One day there was a lovely little sausage named Jason, who all the people loved and adored.

One weekend in August he went away to Windsor and across to Bath, and had a lovely time. When he got home he was all excited about the prospect of writing about it on his webpage.

But when he got home he found that he'd had an unexpected visitor. While he'd been away in Happyland, he'd had a vist from The F*ckup Fairy ! He realised she'd visited him when he discovered that his lovely Toshiba laptop wasn't working – it was displaying an evil blue-coloured screen, and a fairly impolite message saying, “0x00000050: PAGE_FAULT_IN_NONPAGED_AREA” !

So Jason decided to research how to fix his sick little computer… And until such time as he figures it out, there won't be any tales of high adventure in Windsor, or any lovely photos uploaded. Yes, thrillseekers, it was a *proper* dummy spit indeed.

It was made all the less enjoyable by the fact that Jason realised that in his haste to pack to move to Happyland he'd omitted certain items from his luggage, including the original CD Rom drive that came with the laptop (the DVD burner that he put into it only worked after you'd messed about with windows for a while, thus making it impossible to boot off – for example – the Toshiba recovery CD), and the warranty documents that came with the laptop (which were secreted deep within the bowels of the storage unit in Adelaide that held all of Jason's worldly goods).

Yes indeed, a proper exercise in planning this wasn't…!

Stay tuned for the next gripping instalment.

2004-08-31 : The mystery expression shouted at the top of Jason’s lungs today is… “BOLLOCKS !”
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