Incidentally, huge props to Paul L. Bird (pictured, left) for his subterfuge and resourcefulness in organising what was meant to be the best birthday present ever – the reunion of the Spice Girls.

I suspect he misunderstood what I was saying – although that's easy enough, what with this weird accent I've got – I was actually asking for a Led Zeppelin reunion (Just let it go, people.) or the Spice Girls naked in a hot tub.

Still it's the thought that counts.