I’m sure there must be a way of connecting yesterday’s news story “London exodus as Australians return home for jobs and sun” with last week’s somewhat heavily hyperbolised headline, “Aussie sperm floods UK” (making it hyper-bollock, rather than hyperbolic).

That’s right, they’re pleading for Australians to stay in London, even though there’s scientific evidence that many of them are prodigious w@nkers.